Where have I been?

In year 2 I had a nervous breakdown in February of 2018. It was an unreal feeling. I had just went through a tummy tuck surgery which was a traumatic move in a years time of just having the sleeve done. Life as I knew it was overwhelming for my body. Here is why:

First, it took me 2 years to decide to undergo weight loss surgery. Why so long? I wanted to see if I could really loose weight on my own. Result was that I lost 120 pounds on my own then I got stuck for a year and nothing I did worked. Surgery date was scheduled for 9/2/2016. I was not nervous but scared I would fail at loosing weight with the surgery.

Second, the mental stress of failing at loosing weight kicked in. It was hard to eat or drink anything for months. I was tired; but the weight was falling off. I was blind and didn’t realize I was malnourished. I started to loose my hair and my skin was grainy. All these weird things were happening to me. BUT I was no longer per-diabetic and my hypertension was gone. I had lost 80 pounds in 4 months. I had not worked out yet, this was all the sleeve doing the work. I had the thought I might be anorexic and was this even possible for a person who had weight loss surgery.. It was not until I went to a support group and a peer said that if there was not enough nourishment in the body you loose hair and the skin starts acting strange. This gave me a rude awakening. While others were complaining about going out with their friends and drinking and eating; something they could no longer do in their minds, I was in another mindset of who cares! I am trying to save my hair from falling out! (I know I sound self absorbed and I was to be honest)

Next, I realized that I was not failing and that I was loosing weight with no problem and started making sure I was taking my vitamins and eating gradually but was continuing to loose weight. I had lost a total of 200 pounds from my highest weight. I ran in the Chicago Marathon, I won a race and placed in top five. All these wonderful achievements and memories were made but the nervous breakdown set me back in year 3. I have spent these last 12 months trying to fix my mental health and working on healing from severe anemia. VSG is no joke. It comes with new baggage of its own. Understanding your new body, your new figure, looks, lifestyle it’s all very complex.

There  were so many things I didn’t know that research did not prepare me for; such as fatigue, anxiety and malabsorption. As I sit here today writing about my first few years experience as a bariatric patient, I have no regret whatsoever. VSG gave me a brand new life. A new take on the fruitful future. Despite my mental health and yes it can be debilitating at times I don’t give up. Yes anxiety sucks but there is help out there and I asked for help just like I asked for help on my weight loss journey.

Lastly, I am walking into year 4 now and I have a new mindset and I am 15 pounds heavier from my lowest weight of 161 pounds and its okay. I have been at my current weight now for over 12 months and it is a called the sweet spot. Actually feels good to not gain and well we always want to loose but I am happy with who I am molded to be. Life is full of curve balls and it is up to us to know that and know when to swing and not swing. 2020, year 4, I am about to run in the Chicago Marathon for the second time with a completion time goal of 4 hours. I am no longer worried about failing. I am just going to go for it. Trail runs, here I come. I love my athletic lifestyle but I also enjoy a good burger from time to time. (LOL)

My tips are: Don’t ever loose faith, you gained? It’s okay life happens, just get back to good healthy habits starting with your mental health. Not feeling well? Listen to your body and visit your doctor, ask for help. Be Confident, you made it this far in your journey keep going forward, going backwards is not  an option.


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